morning - had vaginal lips re-adjustment issues (they are sore, so stupid...)
afternoon/evening - panty re-adjusting issues. I was either taking them on and off or trying to deal witht eh discomfort by stiffening up and/or moving awkwardly or not being able to sit...I'd eventually give in and mess witht hem, but managed to keep the same pair on all day.

night - made my bed with new sheets, which took alot longer than usual - 20 mins or so. The sheets were slightly too big so had to tuck them in perfectly, and this is the first time in a while I'm trying to sleep with a bed sheet between me and the comforter (the sheet tends to drive me nuts). It's not that sheets don't feel good to me, though sometimes they are cheep and suck balls,  it's the simple fact that if they are present on my bed, when I make the bed or get in it I have to smooth out ALL the wrinkles and make sure that the comforter's edges (in this case a fleece blanket) line up perfectly parallel to the sheet's. Drives me nuts, makes me look silly to my roomies, and waists my time. Ridding myself of the temptation altogether is best.

I know this is the same reason that I have yet to unpack my clothes and put them away. It's been over a week now and they are still piled up in my suit case. I'm so glad that I no longer feel the need to perfectly fold and place everything when packing, but I still spend hours unpacking. I have to do all this folding and refolding to get rid of wrinkles and hang everything perfectly with the same amount of clothing hanging on both sides of the hanger's hook. it can take more than an evening.

For some reason, if I don't start it doesn't bother me. If I do, then I'm screwed...hmm, I wonder how many other things I unknowingly handle like this...sigh

YO, eyes and panties and bras

Those have been my 3 big issues since I last posted, though those are always my 3 main issues... so uncomfortable, I'm terrified over finding work when I'm done with my final semester of college in December...uhg.

OK! I know what I need to do; I need to stop with all the generalizing and worry of the future talk and focus on documenting what's happened in an OCD filled (or not) day. That is what will help me! OH! Speaking of things that help me;  I'm going back to San Francisco for school tomorrow, which means I'll be able to start seeing my psychologist again - for the first time in 3 months! I'm kind of excited, lol, feels silly saying that. Telling an old man biweekly about my obsession with the comfort of my boobies and vag...
Anyway, point is it will be my last few months with him and I have a good feeling it will help.

Also, I've started  taking my medication again! I ran out while visiting my family for the summer months, finally was able to get a refill. IDK if they are the best pills for me yet or not, but I'm hoping so. the first pills I started with at the turn of the year were great but had bad and possibly dangerous side effects, a bit depressed that those didn't work out. I bought awesome new comfy underwear today too. Here's hoping all that crap together helps!

*****

I babysat again today, had underwear adjusting problems while there. had to go to the bathroom once just to  take off and put the undies back on, the bra was bugging me too (granted I think I'm a little fat for it at the moment, haha).
Earlier this afternoon, I was getting ready to go out shopping with my mom, took me 2 pairs of underwear and multiple times of taking putting them on and taking them off to feel  find the right pair and feel moderately comfortable. I couldn't seem to get the elastic bands of my underwear to line up symmetrically and feel right today.

CURSES!!! D8<

5 minutes late to work this morning (the usual) because I spent too long messing with my eye lashes in the mirror and changing my underpants until things felt comfortable. I'm currently an as needed babysitter, so being a few minutes late usually isn't a problem, but I still always let myself down - I would like to be on time or even a few minutes early more often than once a week! D:

Had to completely remove and put my bra back on 2 or 3 times while there, as well as my underpants...in the bathroom of course. Had more vaginal lip readjustment issues today too. I feel so bad and retarded when I have these little episodes while I'm watching kids. Of course I don't leave them in any unattended danger or anything while I'm gone in the bathroom (no more than 15 mins), I do it while they're watching cartoons and such things, but still it's messed up. When the kids come looking for me when im gone for too long, it's such a horrible feeling.

till tomorrow! or whenever next time is.

Wash cloths can hurt

I've had this cut (blurry in the pic) on the side of  my nose for past 6 or so days.

What's it from? - A wash cloth.
How? - ... I have OCD, one of my big habits associated with my OCD is standing in front of the mirror for hours at a time separating, plucking, and reshaping my eye lashes using my fingers, tweezers, and damp washcloths. Almost every morning I wipe my eye lids with a damp wash cloth; starting from the inner corners of my eyes and wiping out, followed by combing my lashes with the wash cloth as one would with a mascara brush - only I tend to do it for 30 mins to 2 hours. Thus, I sometimes give myself wash cloth burns.

I do it because I can't stand the feeling of my lashes criss-crossing over and dipping in wrong directions, like into my eye. But besides that, it's obvious that I have a problem. Even just seeing them uneven bothers me and give me the twitches. Things being imperfect, uneven, and uncomfortable is what bothers me the most. I have this problem day and night with my clothes - the most horrible endeavor of them all.

Another reoccurring issue, similar to the one with my eye lashes is...*sigh* most embarrassing of all, tugging on my vaginal lips in attempts to make them line up evenly... weird and sad, but true. I can spend an hour or so on the toilet or just squating and tugging on them trying to make it feel comfortable and look right down there before I can put my panties back on and move on with my day. Sometimes, I tug so hard  that they get sore and tare.  This happened the other week, hurt for a good long while.

All this crap can make for really awkward situations. Now that you know a little about my oddities maybe you want to follow me on my OCD adventures. Learn some about it, help me out, share your stories, or just laugh...whatever.

Here's to the start of something I never thought I'd do! :D